Friday, March 20, 2009

Small things do matter…!!!

Its been 3 long working days for me from the last Sunday that now I have started feeling bad about not been able to complete a pending task.

Sunday was a special day for me…not just because it was my B’day but because this was for the first time I received wishes from so many people..some over phone, and a lot many through email, orkut community etc. My orkut scrapbook is almost flooded with scraps wishing me happy b’day and that’s what is giving me sleepless nights. I have not been able to reply back to all of them who took time to wish me. May be I should skip my lunch for today and spend that time at an Internet CafĂ©. Now I am feeling the need of an internet connection at my home.

Another thing that was bothering me for the past 3 days was the Sunday evening when I was having dinner with my Jeeju (sister’s husband). This was what happened that evening when I along with my Jeeju, my cousin sister and her 2 brothers went out to have dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Bangalore. Being my b’day I was suppose to treat them, as opposed to that when the bill came, it was my Jeeju who took the troubles to pay, despite me being continuously forcing not to. And it happens every time I go out with them. I guess he is always so nice to me, but this time I was not ready to accept that and so I did something that now I am not sure if it was right or not.

That day, after coming back from the dinner, it was getting very late so my didi asked me to stay at their place. We were about to sleep just then I stepped out of my bed to reach for my bag and took out an empty envelope. I placed two, (1000 rupee) notes in it and over the top of the envelope I wrote a small message “Sorry Jeeju, But it was my day”. I left this envelope over the top of the refrigerator so that no one notices. The next morning I was about to leave from their place, I started my bike and drove a couple of yards away, just then I paused for a moment and took my cell phone out from my pocket to send a text message on my didi’s cell phone. The message read “check, there’s something placed over the refrigerator..”. I felt somewhat nice after that.

Today when I woke up in the morning, my cell phone showed an unread message, the message had arrived yest. night when I had gone to bed. It was from my didi and she wrote “It was not okay, Princy”. Now I am feeling sad again. May be I have this childish or immature line of thought that always tells me to do small things. It makes me a little concerned every time some one does a thing for me and I remain restless unless I repent back.

Now I am going to call my Jeeju and cousin to express sorry for what I did that day and I am sure they won’t feel bad. This reminds me of Steve Jobs (Apple CEO) words in his speech at a graduation event where he addressed to the graduates to “Stay young, Stay foolish”. I guess it’s my foolishness that prompts me to say sorry every time I hurt someone, but guess what, its gives me a peace of mind too. :D

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